Its Okay To Fall
by SuchASchoolGirl
Summary: When Sarah Perkins, a normal girl, gets the chance to go backstage at a Jonas brothers concert, its dream come true. Whats not a dream come true is her home life. Find out what happens in Its Okay To Fall. Abusive scenes. Better then it sounds
1. The Concert

**A/N This is purely fiction and it is legal. The JONAS BROTHERS were in an episode of Hannah Montana (Me and Mr Jonas and Mr Jonas and Mr Jonas) which makes them characters. This takes place during their Burning Up tour.**

"_Hold on tight  
>it's a roller coaster ride we're on<br>Say goodbye  
>'cause I won't be back again<br>Up and down  
>You're all around<br>Say goodnight and goodbye_"

Said the lovely voice of Joe Jonas blaring through my car speakers as I drove to their concert. I smiled and pulled into the arena parking lot. I looked at my tickets. Row AA seat 7. Front row center.

I was bubbling over with excitement as I nearly jumped out of my car, a 2008 black Mercedes. This was the day I had been dreaming of. This was my moment to experience being right near my idols!

My light brown hair was pulled into a high pony tail, tied with a ribbon that said Mrs. Jonas. My t-shirt had Nick holding a guitar on the front and Joe holding a microphone on the back. My black ripped skinny jeans, that had hot pink tights peaking through the rips, lead into my white and black coach converse.

I had my own style, not preppy, not sporty, not Goth, just my own customized look, and that's exactly the way I liked it. I'm not a poser. I'm just Sarah Perkins, a 17 year old senior at Merrimack High School.

My makeup looked great. I highlighted my naturally high cheek bones with a little bit of blush and bronzer. My blue eyes, sparkling with excitement, were highlighted by a smoky eye. I started toward the entrance practically skipping.

During the concert

They were amazing in person! They were so hot and their voices were so... perfect. I swear Nick looked at me a couple times and my heart stopped.

I was surprised to find stares aimed towards me like I was some model or something while the Jonas Brothers were literally right in front of our eyes. Nevertheless, it was kinda nice to have guys eyes glued on me, but it was also really weird. I wasn't here to find some hot date. I was here for the event that was going on around me.

During a quick wardrobe change I hear a voice beside me say "Enjoying the concert?" I turned and there was Mr. and Mrs. Jonas. OMJ!

"H...hhh... hi!" I said totally freaking out.

"Hi sweetie. What's your name?" asked Mrs. Jonas.

"Sarah... Sarah Perkins." I said, finally regaining my cool.

"Enjoying the concert?" asked Mr. Jonas, for the second time.

"Yes Sir, your sons are very talented."

"Would you like to meet them?" asked Mrs. Jonas after a pause.

"OMJ!" I said excitedly.

"O.M.J?" she asked.

I blushed "oh my Jonas"

They laughed and handed me a backstage pass.

"Come on back when the shows over" said Mrs. Jonas sweetly.

I nodded, still in shock, and went back to watching the 3 brown eyed boys, whom I looked up too.

Backstage

I walked back stage right after the boys went off. I flashed my backstage pass at the security people and they let me by. I looked around completely lost. I had no clue where Mr. or Mrs. Jonas was. I felt so exposed.

"There you are sweetie" said the voice of Mrs. Jonas, "the boys went to their dressing rooms but they'll be back soon, and hopefully smelling better." she said winking.

I giggled "I really get to meet them?"

"Sure do honey" she smiled

"Thank you so much. It's a dream come true."

"I'm so grateful. Thank you so much." I replied 100% honestly. I had never had such an opportunity before, and I'm sure the shock and excitement was showing clear on my face.

"Hon, we're glad to do it. And it makes us happier to do it because we can see how appreciative you are." Mrs. Jonas replied her smile brighter then my own, which I didn't even think was possible at this moment.

I had never imagined something would go in my favor. Being able to go to the concert was already a dream come true.

She led me to an area that had 3 couches set in a circle with a coffee table in the middle. On one of the couches was Mr. Jonas, on another was Big Rob, their head security guard and on the 3rd was the bonus Jonas, Frankie, playing a video game.

"Everyone this is Sarah Perkins" she introduced me.

"Hi guys. Its so cool to meet you" I smiled nervously.

"Your pretty." Said Frankie finally looking up from his game. I blushed

"Franklin Nathaniel Jonas, that is not appropriate." Said Mr. Jonas, "I'm sorry Sarah."

"It's fine Mr. Jonas. I think Frankie is such a cutie."

"Please take a seat," said Mrs. Jonas, as she sat down next to her husband.

I chose the seat next to Frankie and watched as he smiled huge.

"The boys should be out soon," said Big Rob, speaking for the first time.

**Review to make me write faster :) Any and all ideas are welcome. Also I'd like to mention that my best friend is also helping me write this so thanks to her! The next chapter should be up soon!**


	2. The Phone Call

I was sitting beside Frankie waiting for the brothers for about 10 minutes.

"They should be out soon" said Mrs. Jonas, for the 3rd time.

"Its fine, really I don't mind waiting" I replied honestly.

Just then all 3 dressing room doors opened at the same time and out stepped the Jonas Brothers!

"Who's the chick?" asked Joe.

I blushed but was too shocked to speak. Kevin stepped pass Joe, smacking the back of his head, and walked over to me.

"Hey I'm Kevin, and you are?" he said holding his hand out. I shook his hand and just nodded. Speak Sarah speak!

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" asked Nick walking over too.

"Sarah... yea... I'm Sarah" I said, mostly to convince myself. I made the mistake of looking into Nicks deep brown eyes and started hyperventilating.

"Whoa their sweetheart," he said rubbing my arm, "deep breaths. Watch me okay?" taking those over exaggerated deep breaths.

I nodded and tried to copy him.

"Can I get a water bottle for her please?" I heard Kevin ask, sounding far away.

"I think I'm fine... really." I said quietly.

"No offense, Sarah but people who are fine don't normally almost pass out." said Joe who some how appeared to my right.

I looked around and saw that Mrs. and Mr. Jonas, Big Rob, Frankie, some dancers, and a couple people who worked backstage where staring at me.

"Stop staring at me," I practically whispered putting my hands in front of my face acting like a little kid. If I couldn't see them then they couldn't see me. But instead of that, I felt someone pulling my left wrist towards them.

"Sarah... why'd you do this? Why would you cut yourself." asked Nick, stroking the cuts.

"Nick, it's obliviously something personal. It's not our business." said Kevin, who was also staring at my cut and scared wrist.

"Sweetie, do your parents know about this?" asked Mrs. Jonas, sweetly.

"NO! You can't tell them! Please!" I was practically crying now.

"GUYS! Calm down your scaring her!" said Frankie, who had come up behind me and hugged me.

"He's right guys. I'm sorry about my brothers Sarah." said Joe.

Everyone mumbled an apology to me as well.

"Are you coming to the concert tomorrow night?" asked Kevin, who had finally stopped looking at my wrist.

"NO! ... i mean I can't.. I mean i would love too but I could never afford it. Tonight was amazing though. Total dream come true" I said, looking at each of them while i said the last part but I look directly at Nick during the last sentence.

"You have to come back tomorrow.. Please?" said Nick finally looking up at my face instead of my wrist.

"But I don't have tickets, and I can't afford to buy them." I said sadly.

"Dad, you have extra tickets right?" asked Joe and Kevin.

"I... I couldn't. I mean... could I? No of course I can't. I barely got my dad to let me out of the house to come tonight. He wouldn't let me drive home just to drive back here tomorrow night," I said sadly, not able to look them in the eyes, especially not Nicks.

"Sarah, is there something you need to tell us?" Nick asked, seeing how timid I must've looked at that moment.

I felt bad, but I was already so much in a frenzy that I snapped at him, saying in a harsh tone, "NO! I'm fine!"

Nick looked taken aback, which angered me more because that made me feel guilt, and I really didn't need that on top of everything else. I apologized anyway though, knowing it was the right thing to do.

"Sorry Nick," I said shamefully, "I didn't mean to be so rude and short with my temper, I'm just not used to people caring so much. "

"Don't worry about it. I know we seem to be coming on strong, we just want what's best for you." Nick said, looking understanding and torn apart inside at the same time.

I can't help but feel like I let him down. Just then my phone started to ring, with my tone being "When You Look Me in the Eyes, by, guess who? The Jonas Brothers. When I saw it was my father calling, I was hesitant to pick it up, but knowing he'd just keep calling, I decided to pick it up sooner than later. I started to say hello to my dad, but before I could get a word out his voice screamed from the speaker of my phone.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU SARAH? YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HOME EXACTLY 10 MINUTES AGO!"

"Dad, I'm sorry I'm running late, it's just that the concert was running a few minutes late and I lost track of time." I replied, my voice shaking.

"YOUNG LADY YOU DON'T _LOSE TRACK OF TIME_ WHEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A CURFEW! BOY ARE YOU IN FOR IT WHEN YOU GET HOME!" My dad responded, still ranting and raving.

By now tears were threatening to spill over my eyes. I just couldn't stand the thought of what was probably waiting for me when I got home."

"Alright dad, sorry, I'll be home as soon as possible. I Love Y-" I started to say, but I was abruptly cut off my dad.

"Don't bother. Just get home." His words hurt terribly, even though I expected it, seeing as that's what happens every time I try to get that out of my mouth.

The second I hung up my phone, the boys were all over me. Nick leaned forward as if he was going to wipe my tears, but then decided against it after realizing what he was doing.

"Guys, I'm fine, really," I quickly said. It probably would've been believable too, if I hadn't of still been choked up.

"No, you're not. What exactly is 'waiting for you when you get home' Sarah?" Kevin asked, clearly concerned.

Trying to think up a answer that wouldn't give to much away, "Nothing, just my dad's form of punishment" is what popped into my mind.

None of the people standing in that room seemed convinced, except for little Frankie who was desperately trying to stand up for me and come to my defense. The truth is though; I couldn't be saved by Frankie, or by anyone for that matter. I was stuck with my life, but through it all I knew I'd grasp onto the memory of my time with The Jonas Brothers.

"Sarah, please! I can't let you go home, I just can't!" Nick pleaded, and as much as he was trying to hide it, I thought his eyes looked moist when I got a glimpse of them.

I knew I couldn't prolong it and needed to get home, because the sooner I got home the easier my dad would go on me, I thought. But maybe I was just trying to convince myself of that. Nevertheless, I knew I had to get home, so I decided to bargain with them all a little bit.

"Guys," I began, "You don't understand, I really do need to get home. But I'll make you all a deal, if you give me one of your numbers, I will call you before I go to bed." I said in a confident voice, knowing if I let how unstable I was at the moment show, making my voice waver, they would practically lock me up with a ball and chain.

Nick jumped at the chance before anyone else could, practically jumping like a little kid on Christmas. "You can have my number!" He said excitedly. Then, as if remembering the problem at hand, he toned it down a lot. "Oh, um, I mean, that's a good idea. I'd feel safer if you had my number and not these other two boneheads' though. But you won't just call before bed, you'll call when you get home, before bed, when you wake up, and before you leave,"

At the bonehead part I almost laughed out loud, especially by the looks both Joe and Kevin gave him. And I thought only girl's were capable of looks that could kill!

"As stalkerish as that sounds, I promise I will, but guys I really have to go." I replied with a catch in my voice, but this time though because I was still trying not to laugh.

I gave one little wave as I walked through the door. It took a lot of effort to not run right back in there where I was actually cared for. I jumped in my car, now shaking in fear, imagining what was coming.

As I pulled into my driveway, I almost didn't have the energy to walk up the steps into my house. A cute house from the outside, it's my worst nightmare on the inside.

My dad jumped out in front of me and unexpectedly jumped on me. I noticed that he had his left hand made into a fist as he hovered above me. As it slammed down into my face, the pain made me feel as if my nose was breaking, and I briefly wondered if it was as I felt the warm blood trickle down my face. I tried to imagine I was anywhere but here, but my mind just wouldn't allow it, so I suffered through every blow made to my body. I felt the pain of a knee being shoved into my chest, which told me I just have been struggling pretty badly without even noticing it. I felt a bare hand covering my face, just long enough to make me feel as if I was drowning, I was gasping for breath but still none would come. While his hand was still keeping me from breathing, his fist of his other hand slammed into my gut, making me cough up a ton of blood that all went back down my throat because his hand was still completely covering my face. I kept hacking the blood up but still I got no relief. No air, no getting the blood out, no nothing. I had the feeling I would die right here on the spot, and then suddenly I couldn't feel or see anything. I was trapped in my mind, just circling with my thoughts, not knowing anything but how emotional and hateful I was at the moment, and how I seriously thought I was dying. Eventually I didn't even have my thoughts to fall back on, just total blackness.

When I finally woke up, I was laying in my own bed, trembling and scared, but happy because I was almost certain that I was alive. That was my only real coherent thought, that I should be grateful because I was alive. The next thing that popped into my head was "Crap, Nick can't see me like this, and I'm almost positive he'll somehow find my address and come over here if I don't call him. I was extremely happy to find my phone in my pocket undamaged. I quickly found Nick in my contact list and dialed him. He answered on the first ring, sounding frantic.

"Sarah?" He questioned, as if interrogating me. I was going to tell him, I really was. But hearing his sweet voice and knowing it would make him beyond worried, I decided against it. I really meant to, I just, I, couldn't bring myself to.

"Hey Nick, just calling to say goodnight, and that I'm sorry it's so late." I said, hoping I sounded strong and also hoping that it really was late seeing as I was stupid enough not to check the time before I called him. I was in a rush but I still should've checked it. I mean, I knew this stupid phone wouldn't allow me to look at the time or anything like that while on the phone.

"Sarah, its 3:00 in the morning. What happened? ARE YOU OKAY?" He said with a very protective voice. He just kept rambling on so I decided to just interrupt him.

"Nick, calm down. Don't worry, I'm fine. Nothing happened, I really am sorry it's so late but I just came home and was so tired that I…collapsed in bed." Well, the collapse part wasn't a lie, I thought to myself. I started getting choked up when I finally realized that there was still blood coming out of my nose, just not gushing out anymore. It was more of a steady drip than anything. But still, it reminded me of everything that had happened so I quickly said "Gotta go, bye." I hung up and rolled myself into a tight ball and started to cry.

I woke up the next morning feeling more sore then I'd ever been. I yawned and sat up slowly. I reached for my phone which was on the nigh stand. 3 new messages from Nick.

**5:14 am Nick**: call me when you wake up

**7:42 Nick**: Are you awake yet?

**11:37 Nick:** We're tracking your phone. I'm coming to get you.

Damnit! I looked at the time. 12:30 pm. SHIT! I dialed his number praying he wasn't to close to my house yet. He couldn't be here. He couldn't see me like this!

(**BoldNick**/_ItalicsSarah_)

**Thank god you're awake! Are you okay? We're almost to your house**.

_No! I'm fine. You don't have to come here. I'm fine. I'll see you at the concert_

**Sarah, Joe, Kevin and I drove all the way here... plus I want to make sure your okay.**

_I said I'm fine. Plus I have to shower and get ready for the concert tonight._

**We're coming to see you. We'll go out to lunch. Just come out to the car when you're ready. We can wait.**

I sighed

_Fine... but I'll be about an hour_.

**We're about 30 minutes away so we'll be there soon.**

_Alright I gotta start getting ready_

**Bye.**

_Bye._

I hung up and walked to the bathroom. I stood by the door frame and listened. Nothing. It sounded like my dad had gone to work. Thank god. I jumped in the shower and let the warm water relax my muscles and wash the blood off me.

After my shower I walked to my closet. I grabbed a light weight black shirt with neon splatter paint drops and blank skinny jeans. I also grabbed a pair of black ankle boots.

I slipped the clothes on and looked in the mirror. Most of the bruises where covered by clothes besides one on my cheek and my black eye. I sat down at my makeup vanity and got out my foundation, gently applying it over the bruises until they didn't show at all. I sighed.

"Thank god... I look some what normal." I said out loud.

I grabbed my black chocker necklace with a heart jewel in the center and tied it around my neck. I grabbed some shinny bangles bracelets and slipped them on my left hand. I added some shiny hoops to complete the look.

I put on black eye liner, Silver eye shadow, and mascara on as makeup, hoping the black eye makeup would distract from the black eye.

I looked out the window and saw a black escalade sitting in my driveway. This is it, i thought as I grabbed my ray-bans, keys and wallet.

Time to go lie my ass off.


	3. Lunch Date

I walked out of my house and shut the door. I heard 3 car doors open the shut, and I turned around. There stood Kevin, Joe, and Nick, looking so amazing. My fake smile dropped and a real one slid into place. I slowly walked over to Nick, taking deep breaths.

"Hey sleepyhead" teased Joe.

"Shut up you know you're jealous." I replied sticking my tongue out at him.

"Children, children please. Grow up" said Kevin laughing.

I finally reached Nick and stood right in front of him.

"Hey" I whispered, knowing he could hear

"Hey" he replied just as quietly.

Feeling brave, I decided to go in for a hug, hoping he wouldn't react too badly. I was happily surprised to feel his arms circle my waist and his chin on top of my head.

"Aw aren't you love birds cute?" teased Joe, totally ruining our moment.

I blushed and looked up at Nick who was glaring at Joe. I reached down and grabbed his hand, and watched as his eyes calmed down from the small touch.

"Let's go you two. I'm starved." said Kevin sliding into the drivers' seat.

I reached for the door handle but Nick beat me to it and opened it for me. I smiled

"Thanks Nick." I said getting in and sliding over so he could get in the back with me. I thought I was gonna burst out with screams of joy when Nick grabbed my hand and held it between both of his.

"Cold?" he asked, and I shook my head no.

"So Sarah, what's good to eat around here?" asked Kevin after about5 minutes of silence.

"Um on Main Street there's a little diner called Anna's that's pretty good. I mean I think its good but since you guys have eaten all over the world..." I was babbling when Nick cut me off.

"I'm sure that will be great. Stop being so nervous. Seriously Sarah, we're just normal guys, who happen to have our faces on billboards. We won't bite" he said smiling.

I looked down and blushed. The car got quiet until I realized something.

"Why did all 3 of you come to check on me? And where's Big Rob?" I asked.

Joe answered, "We all came because we all care about you... though not as much as little Nicky back there. And Big Rob is not needed because we just came to pick you up. There's not gonna be THAT many screaming people around."

I nodded and leaned back in the seat. I looked over at Nick and flashed him a quick smile.

"You alright?" I asked him

"Yea... but are sure YOUR okay? What did your dad do?"

My voice sounded cold even to me, "I said I'm fine Nicholas." the entire car got quiet

I teared up and put my hands over my face. Stupid tears.

I felt a pair of arms circle around me, unhook my seatbelt, and pull me into their lap.

"Shhhhh... Shhhhh... let it out. You're safe... Your okay." whispered Nick's velvet smooth voice in my ear, rubbing my back.

I was quiet the rest of the way to the restraint, not crying but also not talking.

"You ready to go in?" whispered Nick, after we had just been sitting in the parking lot for 10 minutes

I nodded and got out of his lap, opened the door, and stepped out of the dark Escalade. I smiled at some kids I knew from school and turned around to wait for Nick, Joe and Kevin. Soon the 3 dark haired boys stepped out and shut the doors at the same time.

"Do you guys like practice doing that at the same time?"

"No" came from Nick and Kevin

"Totally. All the time" said Joe, which made us all laugh.

I snickered under my breath, and Nick and Kevin both look embarrassed. Joe just rolled his eyes at them.

As we all moved towards the entrance, I couldn't help but let my gaze wander toward Nick. He's just so….I don't know. He was Nick, which was the only way to sum it up. To me he wasn't just "a Jonas brother" anymore; he was just plain old Nick who happened to play in a band with his brothers. Nick…My Nick.

"Sarah?" Nick said, with a brilliant and glowing smile.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Um, Sarah, you just called Nick…um, how do I say this…yours?" Joe said, trying to hold in laughter, but I could tell he really was about to laugh.

I, on the other hand, was now a shade between lobster and blood, and far from laughing. And we all know blood red is never a good shade on me.

"I-I-I said that out loud? I'm so sorry Nick." I could feel the tears pooling up in my eyes, which really wasn't good considering my makeup was covering my bruises. Damn I was crying in the car… I bet they weren't showing because if they were, the boys would be all over me about it. Thank god for waterproof makeup.

Seeing my face and how I knew my eyes must have been glazing over, Nick quickly came over to me to make me feel better,

"Shhhhh, no baby girl, I AM yours, and you are mine." Nick said, now blushing as much as me.

I leaned up and we shared a long, wonderful kiss, and even though it sounds clique, I now knew what people meant when they said it seemed like no one else was there. I felt like I was in my own little fantasy, with just me and Nick.

Suddenly we heard an "Ahem," that, at least to me, sounded somewhat in the distance. Nick slowly backed away from me looking like he had just gotten married, he was that happy. Then, he turned to deal with his brother, while grabbing my hand to hold.

"Kevin," he said with venom in his voice, "Don't interrupt things like that, or you will be sorry." Kevin just smiled a condescending smile.

We got inside and the hostess escorted us to our table, trying not to stare at the "celebrities." Finally, she worked up the nerve to ask for her autograph. Kevin gave her his most dazzling smile and said sure, then kindly asked if we could have a private area so too much attention wouldn't be drawn to us.

She brought us to our table smiling from ear to ear. I ordered Filet Mignon with a loaded baked potato, Nick got a chicken fajita, Kevin got a hot fudge sundae, and Joe got a ceaser salad, a marinated steak tip and chicken finger plate, a large thing of fries, a huge plate of toast, and 2 fried eggs.

I stared at him in shock, not able to process that someone could eat that much in a whole day, let alone in one meal. The others didn't seem fazed though, so I assumed this was something he did a lot.

Joe caught me staring, and said extremely confident, "What? I couldn't HAVE ordered more; I have to keep my figure. Jeez, you people look at me like I didn't order anything; I ordered a meal, that'll be sufficient."

I burst out loud at this and said "Okay Joe, whatever you say." I paired this with an eye roll.

During the rest of lunch we didn't talk much, all eating our food and it looked as if we were all savoring every bite. Before I was even finished with half my meal, I noticed Joe waving over our waitress. When she got here, I couldn't believe my ears.

The exact words that came out of Joe's mouth were "Can I get an extra large ice cream sundae with a large piece of cheesecake and a large piece of apple pie for dessert please?" The waitress looked at him like he had 3 heads, which I'm sure was the same expression that I had on at the moment.

Nevertheless, she said, "Sure, that'll be ready shortly."

After Joe was finished with his 'other meal' we got into there car and left the restaurant. They all complimented me on the restaurant choice, saying they all loved it. Especially Joe, who was the most enthusiastic about it. Very shortly, and I'm debating whether it was how fast the driver was driving, we arrived at the venue for the concert.


	4. Oh No!

It's Okay To Fall Chapter 4

Concert

As we pulled up to the venue, nicks hold on my hand got tighter. We pulled into the underground parking garage under the venue and Nick was practically cutting off my circulation now.

"Nick... what's with the hand holding? Not that I mind but its starting to cut off my circulation." I said before exiting the car, with the help of Kevin.

"I'm sorry but once we get in there, I'm gonna be pulled in 100 different directions and i honestly don't know where you'll be. I want to keep you with me as much as i can." he said getting out of the car and, you guessed it, grabbed my hand. I just nodded and smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Who's ready to rockkk?" screamed Joe from the stage.

They were doing their sound check party. This meant a bunch of screaming girls asking stupid questions like "Will you marry me?" "Will you kiss me?" and "can I have a hug?" They were really starting to get on my nerves. At least Nick had made sure I was comfortable.

I was sitting off to the side, wearing one of his sweatshirts and sipping some hot cocoa. He had also given me his iPod and iPhone to keep me entertained during sound check. He said I could have stayed in his dressing room, where there was a TV, but id rather be out here, watching him play.

After sound check was done Nick motioned for me to come with him to his dressing room. I, of course, followed.

"Where you going fro bro?" asked Joe when we passed him.

"To my dressing room Joseph. I need to talk to Sarah without you two bozos interrupting us."

"Do you mean talk or talllllllk" said Joe making kissy faces.

Nick kept a straight face, but I blushed blood red.

"Both." said Nick, grabbing my hand and walking to his dressing room.

When we walked in Nick shut the door while I sat down on the couch. He sat beside me, lifted my feet and put them in his lap. Damn he was absolutely perfect.

I waited for him to speak first, and after a few minutes of silence, he did.

"Did you mean what you said at the restaurant? About me being 'yours'?"

I blushed, "I like you a lot Nick. I don't just see you as Nick Jonas the Jonas Brother. I see you as Nick, the sweetest boy I've ever met, who just happens to be in a world famous band."

He smiled brightly, "Good because if you didn't mean it I would look like a total tool asking you what I want to ask you."

I had a feeling I knew what it was but still I asked, "What would that be?"

"Sarah Rose Perkins... will you be my girlfriend?" **{A/NI was tempted to end it here so you're welcome}**

"But what about when you're on tour? I won't be able to see you. And the paparazzi? And your fans? What if they don't like me?"

"It doesn't matter if they don't like you. It matters that i like you and that you like me.

"Yes" I whispered.

"Yes what?" he said confused

"Yes I'll be your girlfriend." I said sitting up and kissing him softly.

After the kiss he looked me dead in the eyes, smiling the biggest smile id ever seen

"Yes!" he yelled, standing up and picking me up the spinning me around.

I giggled and smiled.

Just then we heard a knock at the door. Nick didn't put me down instead he swung me around so he was holding me bridal style. Then he sat on the couch.

"Come in." he said smiling down at me like a little kid on Christmas. I couldn't help but smile back. How could I not? I was dating Nick Jonas!

Big Rob walked in with Mrs. Jonas not far behind.

"What's with the screaming? We thought you were being killed!" said Mrs. Jonas, finally taking in the fact that I was sitting on Nick's lap, "I take it she said yes?"

"You told your mom?" I asked, looking in his big brow eyes.

"Oh honey he didn't need to. The way he was looking at you yesterday was enough for me to know. Plus the way he ran of this morning to go get you. Let's just say he isn't as sneaky as he thinks he is."

Nick blushed, "Yes mom she did say yes. We're both fine, better then fine, as you can plainly see, so can you please leave us alone until show time?"

"What about dinner?" she asked, sounding like a mother, which I guess she was.

"We'll eat in here" said Nick, then looking down at me, "if that's okay with you."

"That's fine with me." I said grabbing his hand and holding it.

"Good. What's your favorite meal Sarah?" asked Mrs. Jonas.

"You really don't have to go through any trouble because of me. Whatever Nick is having is fine with me." I said honestly.

"What if what I want is you favorite?" asked Nick, clearly finding this amusing.

"Well I guess my favorite is your favorite." I said smirking. Two can play at this game Nicholas.

"Well my favorite is your favorite." He replied.

"Sarah, just tell me your favorite already. It's no big deal really. We want you to be comfortable." said Mrs. Jonas.

I sighed; I was losing this fight anyways.

"My favorite meal is Pasta with butter and parmesan cheese and 2 slices of garlic bread, with a diet Coke." I said, feeling like I was ordering at a restaurant.

"Make that two," said Nick, smiling.

"Alright, sounds yummy. I think that's what I'll have too." said Mrs. Jonas, leaving the room with Big Rob.

Speaking of Big Rob, "Nick, why do I get the feeling Big Rob doesn't like me?"

"What are you talking about? He likes you. They all do. Kevin, Joe, my parents, especially Frankie."

"Then why doesn't he ever say anything to me?"

He laughed, "He doesn't really talk to anyone. Don't think you're so special… oh wait, your really special to me."

"Wow Nick, that's just plain corny." I said rolling my eyes.

"You know you love it," he said kissing my head.

We were quiet for a long time and I guess last nights lack of sleep really caught up with me because I fell asleep, right there in Nick Jonas' lap. To me it felt like 5 seconds, but it must have been at least an hour when I heard:

"Sarah… Sarah… wake up sweetie. Our foods here." whispered Nick's voice in my ear.

I slowly opened my eyes and sat up running a hand through my hair and wiping the sleep from my eyes.

"Why'd you let me fall asleep in your lap? You probably had things you had to do!" I said, feeling sorta guilty.

"I didn't want to wake you. You look like an angel when you sleep. Besides I didn't have anything to do, that is until our food came." He said pointing to the two plates of food sitting on the table.

"Wow that smells amazing!" I said getting out of his lap to grab my plate and drink, then sitting beside him.

"Mmhm sure does," he said grabbing his plate, "have you thought where your gonna watch the concert from?"

"What do you mean? I'm watching from the crowd, right? Where else could I watch from?" I was confused now.

"You could watch from the crowd, like you said, or from the wings, or even from in here. The TV's hooked up so you can watch it."

I nodded and ate my pasta. We were about half way though our food, making some random small talk, when we heard a knock at the door and in walked DEMI LOVATO!

"Hey Dems, this is Sarah." said nick calmly, while I was freaking out!

"Hey, so your Nick's new girl? We should hang sometime." then she turned to Nick, "I just got off stage. Got them all pumped up for you. Anyway your mom sent me to tell you that you're on in 15. Nice meeting you Sarah. I'm gonna go shower." she said leaving the room.

"Wow… that was Demi Lovato!" I stated after she left.

"Mmhm… she's our opening act… don't you remember from last night?"

Oh I defiantly remembered last night…. Seeing them in concert, being next to their parents, going backstage, meeting him, the call from my dad, getting Nick's number, the beating, everything.

"Oh yeah… I guess I didn't expect to meet her."

He nodded and set his now clean plate on the table next to the couch.

"I gotta go our there for prayer and everything." He said slowly.

I nodded, "and I gotta head for my seats… where am I sitting again?"

"Row AA seat 6." He said.

"Hey that's next to where I sat last night." I giggled.

"Really? Wow, my parents were right next to you."

"No duh, rock star. That's how I got to come backstage, and meet you."

"You mean fall madly in love with me." He said smirking.

I hit his arm, playfully. "Shut up Nicholas and go get ready."

"I want someone to walk you to your seat." He said.

"Nick. I'm a big girl. I can get there by myself. Have an awesome show." I said rolling my eyes, kissing his cheek and walking out.

The concert was as amazing as it was last night, if not more. Nick kept staring at me and Joe kept making funny faces at me. Needless to say, everyone next to me was wondering who I was and why they were doing that. It made me feel like a celebrity too.

I was having fun, rocking out to them, when Big Rob came out from backstage and over to me.

"Come with me Sarah." He said with his rough voice.

I nodded and followed him. We walked backstage and towards the actual stage. I wasn't going on stage, was I? No, Nick wouldn't do that to me. Right? Apparently he would because next thing I knew, Big Rob was putting me on the little elevator thing that ifs you up on stage.

"So this next song, goes out to a very special girl in my life," I heard Nicks voice say, "and heres that special girl right now. Miss Sarah Perkins everybody!"

This is it, I thought, I'm here… I'm gonna own it.

So as the lift came to a stop, I smiled and waved, carefully walking down the steps to where Nick, Kevin, and Joe where. I hugged each one of them, Nick last and kissed his cheek.

"What the hell are you doing?" I whispered in his ear, and then sat on the stool Kevin offered me.

Nick just smiled, "So Sarah was here at our concert last night, and she happened to be sitting next to a couple over every special people. My parents. After talking to my parents, Sarah was invited backstage to meet us. Well let's just say, one look in those deep blue eyes of hers, and I was smitten as a little kitten. This next song goes out to her, in hopes that she feels the same way about me." He smiled at me, kissed my cheek then started to play:

(A/N the lyrics are changed a little so you might want to read them)

_Oh oh oh (yeah yeah)  
>Oh oh oh<br>Oh oh oh_

_On the edge  
>something real<br>half a chance  
>but you don't know what to feel<em>

_Getting tight  
>all this fear<br>before you choose  
>I'll let you know that I'll be here<br>I'll let you know that I'll be here_

_Cause i'm not afraid to fall  
>your the one who catches me<br>tell me that you'll be there when i'm  
>About to lose it all<br>your the one who helps me see  
>but sometimes it's ok<em>

_Cause i'm not afraid to fall  
>your the one who catches me<br>tell me that you'll be there when i'm  
>About to lose it all<br>your the one who helps me see  
>but sometimes it's ok<em>

_Before I choose  
>I'll let you know that I'll be here<br>I'll let you know that I'll be here  
>Oh oh oh (yeah yeah)<br>Oh oh oh  
>Oh oh oh (yeah yeah)<br>Oh oh oh_

_Cause i'm not afriad to fall  
>your the one who catches me<br>tell me that you'll be there when i'm about to lose it all  
>your the one who helps me see<br>but sometimes it's ok  
>to fall<em>

When he was done, the entire stadium began to applaud. I on the other hand had tears flowing down my face.

He was smiling like a million bucks, taking in the applauds. I took that as my cue to leave. I stood up and faced the audience, smiling. I heard them all go silent. Shit… what did I do? Then I heard:

"OH MY GOD!"

"WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?"

Oh no… oh no… not now.

Nick stepped in front me and touched my cheek, right on the bruise.

"Sarah… what the hell happened?"

Damn it... my worst nightmare happened. Right on stage in front of god knows how many people.

They knew my secret


	5. Runaway

Please read the authors note at the end. Thanks!

It's Okay to Fall

Chapter 5

I looked from Kevin, to Joe, and then finally to Nick. He had tears in his eyes and one hand touching my black eye.

"Who did this?" he said forgetting he was still wearing his wireless mic, so the whole arena heard him.

I couldn't take it anymore. I looked at the 3 brothers, then at the 15,000 people watching our every move.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, and then ran to the top of the platform/elevator that brought me on stage. Thankfully, the person operating it took pity on me and the platform started to lower. I slipped off it as soon as my body could fit through the hole.

I tried to find Nick's dressing room so I could grab my purse and keys, and leave before he got off stage. When I turned the corner to where his dressing room was, I ran into Frankie, literally.

"Where are you going Sarah? Why are you leaving? Why are you crying?" he was confused.

"I'm sorry Frank but I have to go. Tell Nick I'm sorry." I said, pushing past him and going into Nick's dressing room. I quickly grabbed my purse, phone, and house keys, when I realized:

"Damnit! Nick drove me here! I don't have my car! Could this day get any worse?" I sighed and started walking towards the door that leads out back to the ally behind the arena.

_You're a true friend…you're here till the end. You pull me aside when something ain't right. Talk with me now and into the night. No need to pretend. You're a true friend_

My phone was ringing and from the personalized ring tone I knew who it was before I even looked at the caller I.D. I sniffled and answered:

S: Hey Kaitlin

K: Hey. Where are you?

S: The street behind the TD Bank North Garden where the Jonas Brothers are playing.

K: You're in an ally? Why? Why aren't you inside?

I had started crying again.

S: Can you come get me? Please? - I sobbed into the phone.

K: I'm on my way… don't cry

I hung up and slide down the door, folding my knees up to my chest and put my head on my knees. I started sobbing.

I sobbed for the fact Nick had found out my two deepest secrets in just 2 days. I sobbed for the beating I was sure was waiting for me at home. I sobbed for the fact that I would never feel Nick's lips on mine or his arms around me.

I don't know how long I was crumbled up in a ball like that but it must have been a while. I heard Kaitlin's car pull up and that drew me out of my little shell. I got up, wiped my eyes and started towards her car. I was just about to open the car door when the stage door opened and Nick ran out, spotting me about to get in.

"SARAH! STOP! DON'T LEAVE!" he screamed, running towards the car.

I shook my head no, opened the door and got into the car. As soon as the door shut, Nick stopped running and fell to his knees.

"Just drive." I whispered to Kaitlin when she asked me what was going on. I did **not** feel like talking. We were silent the whole way home, while she drove and I cried silently, staring out the window.

We just pulled into my driveway when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and didn't recognize the number so I answered.

"Hello?" I sounded depressed, even to myself.

"Sarah! Thank God you answered! Where are you? Nick is worried! He saw you get in a random car and drive off! Are you okay?" it was Kevin.

"Kev, I'm sorry I left but I just couldn't stay there anymore. And tell Nick it wasn't a random person. I was my friend who came to get me. I'll call you back later. I'm still with her." With that I hung up.

"Thanks for the ride Knock Out." I almost always called her that, even though she's harmless. Her name is Kaitlin Oswald so KO... yea not so funny.

"You know whenever you call I'll be there… even though I technically called you… you sure you don't want to sleep at my house? Your dad will be wicked mad if you go in there now." She knows what my dad does to me. We met in like 5th grade because our brothers were friends... until my brother... well that's a story for another time. Anyway she's known for a long time.

"I'll be fine. Really. I just want to be in my own bed tonight, you know?" I half smiled and got out of her car.

I walked up to the door and stopped. I figured I should text Nick so he wouldn't worry so much and to say goodbye.

Nick – stop worrying about me. I'm fine. I just don't think our relationship would be good for your career. Try to forget me but know that I will never forget you. – Sarah.

I sent the text, took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Where the hell have you been? I told you not to leave this house!" yelled my dad. I flinched, this wasn't gonna be good.

"I'm sorry dad… I was out with Kaitlin." I said, trying to get by him and go up to my room. He grabbed my arm when I was about 5 stairs up and pulled me down to the floor, hitting my head and probably dislocating my shoulder.

"You were not with Kaitlin! I called her mother looking for you and she said Kaitlin was at home doing homework. WHERE WERE YOU!" he said punctuating each word with a kick to the ribs.

"With," cough cough cough... oh look, blood, "Kaitlin." I said coughing up more blood.

"Lying little bitch!" he kicked me in the face and for a minute, I saw stars. "Go to your room and don't come out. No dinner."

I got up as quickly as I could, which was not fast, and hobbled up the stairs holding my ribs and my head. I got to my room and pushed a chair under the door knob so it couldn't be open from the outside. Then I laid down my bed, thinking of Nick.

'Don't cave and call him already' I thought to myself, and then I guess the adrenaline wore off and I started to feel all the pain. I buried my face in a pillow and screamed.

'I need him' I thought to myself. So with almost super human strength I crawled over to my dresser and grabbed my phone. I quickly dialed his number and waited for him to answer. He answered on the second ring. I didn't give him a chance to speak before I started.

(**BoldNick**/UnderlinedSarah)

Nick, I said quietly, I need you… please it hurts.

**Sarah? Where are you? What hurts?**

It would be faster if I told you what didn't hurt I let out a sort of pathetic laugh at that

**Are you home? Where are you? Tell me where you are and I'll come get you right now.**

I felt myself getting weaker, probably from all the blood loss.

Home… don't go in the front... second floor balcony… hurry… my voice was fading and my vision was starting to get spotty.

**Sarah! Hang on! I'll be there soon! Sweetie stay awake okay? Keep talking to me! Stay on the line! We're only 10 minutes away so just hang on we'll….**

His voice was the last thing I heard before I fell into the painless blissfulness of unconsciousness.

**A/n I know I know this was short but my co-writer hasn't been able to help me with it (even though I love her dearly!) Next chapter should be up soon. Also I wouldn't mind a few more reviews. Not required to get the next chapter but def makes me write faster. Also go stalk my twitter and spam me until I post the next chapter. OMJItsSarahOSBH **

**Review please and thank you!**


	6. Authors Note

Hey guys. I'm sorry I haven't posted lately. Me and my ex-cowriter Kaitlin got into a huge fight since she didn't write her part of the story like 2 weeks in a row. Also I started my dance classes this week. Another reason I haven't posted is cause I was getting ready for the pageant.. and I got divisional queen, and overall theme wear winner.

Back to the co-writer thing… if your interested pleaseee PM me. 2 of my friends have offered to help but im not sure exactly.

Just letting you know whats going on and stuff. FYI I have started chapter 6 so keep a look out for that in the next couple days.

1 final thing… id really love it if other authors would give my stories a shoutout… just saying ;)

Sarah


	7. Trip to the Hospital

Nick POV

My heart was beating faster then it ever had in my entire life. Her voice disappearing like that left me wondering if i would ever talk to her again.

In the short time i had known her, she had become my angel, and even the thought of losing her tore me up inside.

Barely even noticing it, I sped up, going way past the speed limit and not caring. The only thing I cared about was getting to my love.

I pulled up to the house and ran through her back door before Joe and Kevin even had a chance to unbuckle. I nearly fell on my way in, causing my ankle to twist painfully. I disregarded it because at the moment, i felt numb to everything.

Seing Sarah's figure lying there made my heart lurch. She looked so pale and helpless.

I rushed over to her, and thank god, found a pulse. Although it was much faster and weaker then it should have been. And her hands as shaking... oh wait, that was my hand. I knew it want good to call 911 from a cell phone but i wasn't risking running into her father. I dialed 911 and waited impatiently for the operator to answer.

"911 how may I he-"

I cut her off before she could finish

"Please help, my girlfriends hurt. Please help me."

"Just remain calm. Do you need an ambulance?"

"I- I think so. She - she's unconscious."

"Okay, please calmly tell me where you are

I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. It didn't work. I had never felt so broken and worried.

"36 Rose Bud Lane"

"Okay I'll get an ambulance and EMT's on the way."

"Okay but please don't make a commotion, her father did this."

Then I lost service and the line went dead

"Hang in there, Sarah. Help is on the way. You'll be fine. You'll have the best doctors. I'll make sure of it." I said gently stroking her hair, with my stomach churning when i felt blood tangled with it

I heard sirens in the distance. As the paramedics came through the door I told them about the blood and that I had not touched or moved her unconscious body.

I held her hand the entire time the paramedics were checking her vitals.

"We need to get her to the hospital." sad one EMT

"I'm going with her" i state, my eyes not leaving her for a minute.

"We'll meet you guy's there." say Joe and Kevin.

With that we were off to the hospital. I was so focused on Sarah being wheeled into surgery that I didn't see a nurse come up to me until she was right in front of me.

"OhMiGosh! You're Nick Jonas!" She screamed.

"Yep that's me. Now if you'll excuse me..." I say trying to get away from her.

"Can I have your autograph? Can I have a picture?"

"Look, i'm sorry. I really love my fans but my girlfriend is hurt... I really need to go find her."

"Girlfriend?" she asked.

"Yes, my girlfriend." I said, looking around for Sarah's room.

"Who is she?" damn this girl just won't leave me alone.

"Look, I really have to go." I said walking away.

I really do love my fans, but right now Sarah is more important. I need to find her.

"Excuse me..," i asked the elderly nurse at the reception desk, "which room is Sarah Perkins in?"

"I'm sorry hinny but i can't give out that information." She said, clearly not noticing who I am.

"But I'm Nick Jonas!"

"And I'm Marge! That doesn't mean anything to me Mr. ... uhhh Jonas is it?"

"Yo, Fro Bro. The chick is in this room." yelled Joe.

"Thank you anyway Miss Marge." I said running over to Joe.

"How did you not notice Big Rob standing outside the door? I mean how many big black guys are standing outside hospital rooms?" asked Kevin

"I was a little distracted by the fact that my girlfriend was beaten to a bloody pulp by her father." I stated

"Yea what are we gonna do about that? We can't let her stay here. It wouldn't be safe." said Kevin.

"What if she came on tour with us? Then Nick wouldn't have to worry about her 24/7." said Joe.

Kevin and I stared at him… had Joe actually said something smart? Or was this all some crazy nightmare? I mean the whole sight of seeing Sarah all bloody like that has to be a scene out of some horror movie. No way that actually happened. Just then I was brought back to reality by the sound of the doctor's voice.

"Miss Perkins is now awake… you can see her but only one at a time." He said walking out of her room.

My brothers and I had a silent conversation with our eyes… cheesy right? But it totally works if you're in front of 15,000 people or just a hallway full of sick people.

Kevin wanted to go first because even though we had latterly only known Sarah a couple of days, Kevin already felt like her big brother.

Joe wanted to go first just because he's Joe. He always has to be the first one with everything. One time Kevin got the new blackberry before him and…. Let's just say it was NOT a fun time to be stuck on a bus together. Needless to say, most of the time we give Joe his way now.

And me… I wanted to go first because I promised myself and Sarah that I would be there when she woke up. Even though I had met her, what was it, like 3 nights ago? It felt like I've known her soooo much longer. Plus I really wanted to be the one to ask Sarah to go on tour with us and if Joe went in first then he'd most likely, (hell who are we kidding, he defiantly) would let it slip.

So, being the nice brothers I sometimes forgot I had, Kevin and Joe nodded for me to go in first. I flashed them a half smile as a thanks and took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for what I was about to see.

There she was. My Sarah. She looked as pale as the crisp white bed sheets. She had a bandage around her head and a splint on her wrist. She had some stitches above her right eye, which I could tell from growing up with brothers was gonna turn into a nice shiner that looked like it hurt. I'm not completely sure but it looks like she has a cast on her right leg too. I was just thankful she was still breathing...

"Hey," she said in a broken whisper.

In that instant, any anger I had about her leaving the venue, leaving me, went out the window. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and sat down in the chair next to her bed.

"Hey, Princess…. How you feeling?" I asked.

"I've felt better… but then again I've also felt worse." She whispers, and I visibly flinched. She looked bad now; it's hard to imagine her worse.

"You'll get better soon, I promise."

"Why bother? He's just gonna do it again." She said suddenly getting quieter then before.

"Sarah… Sarah look at me. He's not gonna hurt you anymore. He can't hurt you anymore because he got arrested. You're gonna be safe now. I promise baby girl."

"He'll still find me! No matter where I go he'll find me Nick! And he's gonna be mad that I got him arrested."

"He's not gonna be able to find you Sarah!" I said trying to calm her down.

"Yes he will! I have no where else to go Nick! I can't stay at Kaitlin's because then he'd hurt her! I can't stay with you because you're not staying here! I'm going to be alone and he'll find me!"

"I have a way to fix that." I whispered, leaning towards her.

"How?" she whispered

"Come on tour with me. He won't be able to get to you. You'll have Big Rob around to protect you. And you'll have the whole crew. Plus my family and me… Sarah you'd be safe."

"I can't just leave Nick. What about my school? What about Kaitlin? What about my dog? "

I cut her off, "we can get you a tutor. We'll fly Kaitlin out whenever your want. And baby… you don't have a dog," I said laughing.

"Oh yea… I guess your right."

Then, right then at that moment, I saw something I thought I would never see again. I saw Sarah smile.

"Yes" escaped her lips, right before I gently placed mine on top of them.

**A/n I know this is totally long over due. But me and my old co-writer got into a fight because she wasn't writing her part. Then one of my other friends was gonna help me and now me and her are in a fight. THEN my other friend Shannon was gonna help me but she never e-mailed me her part. So if you're interested in helping me co-write then PM me.**

**Also go follow my twitter: twitter . com / OMJItsSarahOSBH (without the spaces) and bug me until the next chapter is up. I promise it won't be as long this time.**

**Songs that helped me write this: Lightweight – Demi Lovato and Fix A Heart by Demi Lovato.**

**Pleaseeee review. 5 reviews till the next chapter is posted. **

**Thank for reading my super long authors note**

**Sarah**


	8. Packing

Two weeks later.

Sarah's POV

Today is the day I'm getting released from the hospital. Nick and his brothers postponed all their shows so Nick wouldn't have to leave me.

I felt selfish for taking them away from their fans. Horrible actually. But Nick insisted that the fans would understand... I hoped they would.

Speaking of his fans, I wondered what they would think of me. Would they think I was pretty, or ugly? Too tall or too short. Fat or thin. In love with Nick or just some summer fling.

Would they like me and Nick, like when he was dating Miley Cyrus? Or would they hate us, like when Nick dated Selena Gomez.

I couldnt help but wonder when Nick and I would go public. IF we go public. Nick wasn't exactly known for his PDA.

"What are you thinking about, Princess?" Nick asked, walking into the room with another vase full of pink roses, my favorite.

As soon as Nick figured that out, every time he left me room for anything (food, bathroom, radio interview) he would bring me a vase full. It was starting to get a little crowded in my room.

He placed the flowers on the table next to my bed and sat down in a chair.

"Ready to go home? Or actually onto the tour bus?" he asked.

"I can't wait to get away from this place." I said, meaning every word of it.

"Well good because I just finished signing the papers. You're a free woman now." He said smiling.

I smiled and attempted to get out of the bed. I can almost guarantee it didn't look graceful at all, considering the broken leg and 4 broken ribs.

Nick smiled, "As beautiful as you look in that hospital gown, my moms gonna come in and help you change. I hope a pair of my sweats and one of my t-shirts is okay. We'll stop by your house so you can grab whatever you want, but for right now you'll have to settle for our stuff.

I smiled, teasingly, "Well if I have too…." I giggled.

Nicks smile got even bigger, "I'll go get my mom so she can help you." He kissed my cheek and started to walk out.

"Hey Nick?" I waited until he turned around to continue, "Don't bring back anymore flowers."

"Alright baby girl." He said with a laugh.

About 5 minutes later his mom walked in and helped me change. The shirt was a little big but everything smelled like Nick so I couldn't complain too much. Once I got into the wheel chair (me and nick had compromised on it.) his mom pushed me out into the hall where Nick and his brothers were.

"TO THE BUS!" yelled Joe, running towards the parking lot.

"I CALL GUITAR HERO!" yelled Kevin, running after him.

"I call cuddling with my girlfriend" Nick whispered in my ear. I blushed.

When they get on the bus

I swear this thing was more like a house on wheels then a tour bus. Right when you walk (or in my case are carried) up the stairs, you enter a huge living room with a flat screen TV, a couch and a loveseat and just about every videogame and videogame system known to man.

Just past the living room was a full kitchen. Then there was a little hallway with 2 sets on bunk beds on each side, enough room for 8 people. There were 2 bathrooms then a full bedroom with its on bathroom and door in the back. That's where their parents usually slept. So I was confused when Nick started carrying me towards the door.

"Why are we going into your parent's room?"

"Its gonna be your room for now. Mom, Dad and Frankie are moving onto another bus. We figured it would be easier for you to move around in here. Plus with you being the only girl, you get a lot more privacy." He said smiling.

"Awe you guys are sweet."

The bus started moving so suddenly that Nick fell on the bed, with me still in his arms.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Shit I'm soooo sorry" Nick said guiltily.

"Nicky... chill I'm okay. Really" I said, trying not to laugh at his stupid expression.

"You sure?" he asked.

My only answer was a kiss.

At Sarah's House

It's a weird feeling. Boxing up all your possessions. Half my brain said i should be happy. I was finally leaving this hell hole. No more abusive dad. Going on tour with my boyfriend and his two rock star brothers. Who all loved me.

But then the other half of me was sad and scared of leaving. This house was where i grew up. Where I took my first steps. Said my first words. Everything from my childhood was here.

"Take as much time as you need honey. We'll be right outside." said Nick's mom.

"Nick," I whispered, "Please stay."

"Sure Sarah." he said, holding my hand.

We stood there in silence for a while and I was thankful for it. I didn't want him to tell me everything would be alright. I didn't want him to rush me. I just wanted him there with me. Moral Support.

I sighed, "Where should we start?"

"Well what do you want to bring? Clothes? Pictures? Books? Trophies?"

"Um i guess we should start with clothes."

After about 2 hours of packing, and 4 suit cases later I was all packed up.

"I'm gonna go put these on the bus, and then I'll come back for you." said Nick.

I nodded and stared at my, now almost empty room.

The window I used to sneak in after curfew, my closet and bathroom, where Kaitlin and I got ready for all the middle school dances. My bed where we had had so many pillow fights and late night talks. The desk in the corner, where i had done my homework since elementary school. My whole life was in this room. And i was about to leave it all.

"Ready baby?" Nick said quietly.

I nodded and tried not to cry. Nick picked me up and carefully carried me out to the bus. Everyone was giving me that same look they gave me when they say my cuts. Pity. I hated it.

Nick was just about to put me on the couch in the living room when i yelled, "No!" Instantly regretting my tone of voice.

"Something wrong, Sarah?" asked Kevin, looking away from his game of guitar hero

"I um... I think I need to go lay down in my room for a little, i mean if that's okay." I said quietly.

All three boys nodded and Nick carried me back to my room. I saw my 4 bags, which held pretty much my whole life in them, sitting on my bed. Nick laid me down then moved them onto the floor. He shut the shades on the little window then kissed my forehead.

"Just yell if you need anything, alright? You sure you're feeling alright?" Nick asked, concerned

"Nick I'm fine really. Just a little over whelmed. Leaving your entire life can kind of stress you out."

"Alright I'll leave you alone then baby. I'll check back later.' he kissed my forehead again then walked towards the door, "sweet dreams baby." he closed the door leaving me in the dark.

That's when the walls finally came down and the tears spilled over.

This was it. I was on tour with my idols. I was even dating one of them. I should be happy.

Then why did I feel so alone?


	9. Eating Disorder

**A/N Hey guys… I know long time no post. Not my fault. Really I swear… But I would love more reviews for this story. Thanks a bunch and enjoy**

2 weeks later.

So far touring was great. It took a little getting used to at first, early mornings late nights, but I got used to it. The one thing I couldn't get used to was the fans hitting on the boys. Ugh... that got to me.

One night, I think we were in Nashville. The boys had a meet and greet before the show, and like always I was there. Usually I just sat in the back, keeping quiet. Until SHE walked in.

She was a tall blond. Skinny but not 'i have an eating disorder' skinny. Tan. White teeth. Big boobs. Size double 0. Every guys dream girl. And who did she go to first? My Nick.

"Hi, I'm Ally" said the girl, with a southern accent.

"Hey what's up? I'm Nick that's Joe and that's Kevin" he said staring and maybe drooling.

Needless to say I felt inferior. I wasn't as tall as her. I am 5'4 and she was easily 5'6. I was brunette and she was a platinum blond. She was skinny and until now I thought i was too... but now I feel like a fat pig.

I left the meet and greet early and went to Nick's dressing room. I walked over to the mirror and lifted up my shirt to show my stomach. Ewe... I was fat.

I put my shirt down and sat on the couch. What did I eat today? Well for breakfast pancakes, biscuits, and bacon. Lunch was some Pasta, garlic bread, salad, and a couple cookies. Oh... that's a lot. I suddenly felt like Joe. I was eating a lot but I wasn't on stage burning calories every night like him. I just sat around all day eating and it was starting to show.

I put my head in my hands and took some deep breaths. Next thing I knew, the door was opening and Nick walked in.

"Hey... there you are. We were all looking for you." he said

"I um... I wasn't feeling the best so I decided to come in here." I lied smoothly

"Oh are you okay? What's wrong? Do you need a doctor? Is it your arm or leg or your ribs?" oh god... he was panicking.

"It's fine Nick. It's just a headache. Nothing to worry about. But I think I'll stay on the bus tonight instead of going to the show... if that's okay i mean." technically i wasn't lying. My head did hurt and I didn't feel like going to the show tonight, seeing all those supermodel like girls throwing themselves at Nick.

Nick sighed, "Alright... I'll come see you right after we get off stage. Do you want someone to stay with you? The buses can get kinda lonely."

"No I'll be fine. Have a good show rock star." I kissed his cheek and started for the door.

"Hey Sarah... you forgot something" I suddenly felt his arms around me. God he's so warm. I felt his lips on my head, then I reluctantly let go.

"I'll see you later... have a good show rock star."

"Feel better baby girl. There's some Advil in the medicine cabinet."

"Thanks Nicky." I kissed his cheek and walked out to the bus.

It was the first time in a while that I was alone on the bus. I passed Nicks bunk on the way to my room and grabbed one of his sweatshirts. When I got to my room I didn't bother to turn on the lights. I didn't want to see my own reflection. I was fat and ugly. I plugged my iPod in and soon heard Nicks smooth voice through my headphones. I knew right now he was singing the same songs to a stadium of 40,000 screaming girls, but I had my own private concert going on.

A little while later, I heard my stomach growl. I looked at the clock and saw it was 10:15. I went to the kitchen to grab an apple. I had skipped dinner and it was small, almost no calories. Less then a real meal anyway. Oh well, I thought, I wouldn't hurt to skip a couple meals. Maybe then I would look like that Ally girl and Nick would love me.

Nick. Any minute now he would be done with his show and come to check on me. I hated lying to him but didn't want to tell him the truth.

I sighed and grabbed my phone. 2 new messages.

From: Knock Out :P

Hey girl! Miss you like crazy! School doesn't seem the same without you. Hope you're having fun with Fro Bro. He better be treating you right or I'll KO his ass. Love you.

I texted her back that I was fine and so was Nick then I opened the next message:

From: Blocked Number

You don't belong with Nick. You're not his type. He only dates PRETTY girls. Not girls who look like something the cat dragged in. Broke it off before you get hurt.

That one bugged me. Who was it from and why didn't they want me to be with Nick? It was probably one of their fans who liked Nick. But then again... what if it wasn't.

Just then my door opened and in walked a practically glowing (and very sweaty) Nick.

"Hey babe" my voice sounded weird so I cleared my throat, "how was it?"

"The crowd was awesome. They knew every word and you should have seen some of their signs baby. Truly amazing. We have the best fans ever." He must have noticed how quiet I was and the fact that he lights were off because he followed that with a very concerned, "How you feeling?"

I sighed, "I'm better I guess. My head still kinda hurts... oh and Kaitlin says hi."

"Speaking of her... when do you want to fly her out? Joe wants to meet her."

"Joe wants to meet Kaitlin? How does she even know who she is?" I asked, confused

"The other day when you guys were video chatting he walked by and said, and I quote, "never saw anyone more beautiful" Sounds like he has it bad for her." he laughed and I giggled.

His smile grew when I giggled.

"Sounds like your feeling better."

"I told you it was just a headache. I'm probably just not used to getting such little sleep." i lied smoothly... damn i was getting a little too good at this.

"Well all the tour people were gonna go grab a late dinner but I can stay here with you if you want" he said stroking my hair.

"No baby its okay. Go have fun. Really I'll be fine. I'll probably just take a shower then go to bed. Nothing that's worth missing a good time." I smiled and meant it. He didn't need to be here with me.

"If you're sure... but call me before you go to sleep and if you need anything. Want me to bring you back something?"

"Yes I will call you but no thanks. I already ate." I lied.

He sighed, "Alright. I'll be back later." With that he kissed my head and left.

After I was sure he was gone, I got out of bed and went over to the mirror. For the second time that day I lifted up my shirt and stared at the fat.

**I. Am. Gross**

Before I could think about it to much, I went to the bathroom and lifted the toilet seat. I closed my eyes and shoved my fingers down my throat. Up came the 3 bites of apple.

Once I was sure nothing else was gonna come up, I got up and brushed my teeth. Then I went back over to the mirror and lifted up my shirt.

"I already look thinner." I heard myself whisper.

And it was true. I did look thinner. But I knew Nick and the others would never understand.

From now on I would eat less and throw up what I did eat.

It would be my little secret.


	10. Nick Knows

"They were all cheering us on, and it felt so great to know we were making people happy." Nick was going on and on about the latest concert, and I was trying to share in his excitement, I really was.

It's just, I was currently being distracted by two things. 1.) It was really hard to concentrate when every time Nick brought up the concert and his fans, all I could think about was how 80% of the audience was most likely female, 2.) I was trying to hide the sound of my growling stomach from the beautiful boy sitting across from me, and 3.) Nick's amazing looks, eyes that you could get lost in, and smooth voice, was, let's face it, ALWAYS a little distracting. Well, okay, that was 3, not 2, but who's counting?

"And there was this adorable little 4 year old girl that was right in front of the stage and she smiled up at me, and I couldn't help but scoop her up." Joe said from across the room, his voice thick with adoration, and bordering on baby talk.

I looked up at him and forced a smile, growing hungrier by the second but fighting it with all my strength. Thankfully, they didn't seem to notice. Nick scowled at Joe for interrupting him, but really didn't seem all that mad.

"So, babe, are you going to actually come to the next concert?" Nick asked me, his expression hopeful.

My heart fluttered when he called me babe, but at the same time my stomach dropped at his question. I didn't want to disappoint him again; I just couldn't stand all those picture perfect girls gazes penetrating over my boyfriend…and over me for a completely different reason. Seeing his expression falter though at my hesitation, I decided that I would go, and maybe just fake sick (again!) if it got to be too much, so with my decision made, I nodded meekly.

I knew I made the right decision when Nick suddenly began glowing. Glowing! I smiled back at him with as much radiance as I could gather.

"I love you." Nick said.

"Love you too." I said with that same familiar flutter appearing in my heart again.

"Oh, get a room!" Kevin yelled, making fake gagging noises.

I rolled my eyes, those boys could be so immature. If looks could kill, with the look Nick was giving Kevin, he'd be dead. Kevin feigned a hurt look, which made me giggle.

Soon following that little exchange, my stomach growled so loud you'd think there was a monster in the room. My breath caught in my throat due to the fact that I was terrified at least one of them had heard it. Looking around they didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary though, and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. Figuring I had to at least eat something, and that I would just purge it up after, I slowly rose to grab something very little.

Nick looked up at me in concern, just because I abruptly got up, and asked "Are you alright, am I boring you with my story?"

I quickly replied, with a hint of laughter in my voice "Yes hon. Just because I got up doesn't mean something's wrong," then I smoothly lied, again realizing just how good I was getting at it, even if it was something small like this, "And no, of course your story isn't boring me."

He laughed, but then went serious again, and asked "Why'd you get up then?" I didn't want to lie to him, but I knew if I told him he'd have a 3 course meal made for me, so I again, lied, feeling a pang of guilt.

"I'm just going to use the bathroom." I answered, realizing that it wasn't a complete lie.

As I made my way to the kitchen, I smiled victoriously, knowing I hadn't eaten or kept anything down in 4 days. I had to keep at it though, that didn't lose me many pounds. I searched through the cabinets, frantically looking for something that was low in calories and small, which was NOT easy to find when you shared a tour bus with Joe.

Finally, I came across some grapes, allowing myself a very small handful that consisted of, maybe, 5 grapes. This was still unacceptable though, really splurging, so I quickly put 3 back.

After eating those, rather quickly, I made my way to the bathroom. Knowing the routine by heart, I felt myself start to gag, and then the grapes came up, leaving me with the dry heaves because there was nothing else in my stomach.

If only Kevin knew that I would be doing the same thing he had been faking, the gagging, not 10 minutes later, only for real. He probably would have laughed… or maybe he would have called me crazy.

Just then I heard a knock at the door. My heart stopped. Had the person heard me throwing up? I started to feel dizzy, like I was going to throw up for real.

"Sarah? You in there? We're stopping for food babe." It was Nick and, thankfully, it didn't sound like he heard me throwing up.

So quickly I answered, "Um yeah babe I'm in here. 1 sec."

I quickly flushed and turned on the water so it sounded like I was washing my hands, then I opened the door and became face to face with my love.

"Hello," he whispered, wearing a goofy smile on his face. **This **was the Nick I fell in love with.

Gently I touched my forehead to his. "Hi" I whispered back.

"Hungry?" he whispered, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Not really." And it wasn't a lie. I was hungry. I was starving! But I covered that half lie with a full truth, "Id rather stay here and cuddle with my amazing boyfriend.

"Boyfriend? Who might that be?" he smirked.

"Well," I started, playing along, "he has curly brown hair, the voice of an angel, An amazing smile, beautiful brown eyes, a terrible sense of humor and when he holds me in his arms… I feel like nothing can ever hurt me."

He smiled, "Wow. I don't know weither to go kick his ass for touching my girl, or go thank him for making her feel safe. Either way… I guess you can go cuddle with him" he smiled bigger at his joke and picked me up.

"NICK! Put me down! This isn't funny!" I screamed, playfully hitting him in the chest.

"Not gonna happen baby girl." He started walking towards his bunk. When I had stopped screaming and kicking, he said quietly, "Sarah... your really light."

I didn't know if it was a compliment or not, so I answered, "Thanks… I guess"

"It wasn't a compliment," he stopped for a second then continued, "I never see you eat anymore and after you do eat a little you" he did air quotes" suddenly have to go to the bathroom."

I swallowed hard. Oh no… he cant know already…. No no no.

He whispered so quietly I had to strain to hear him, "Sarah," he said putting me on his bunk then looking my straight in the eye, "do you have an eating disorder?"

**A/N pleaseeee dont hate me! im sorry for not posting but im doing another pageant and im learning a new talent routine so im always practicing it.**

**In other news**: **BREAKING** **DAWN CAME OUT! IM SOOO EXCITED TO FINALLY SEE IT!**

**okay so um... review please, i wanna know what you guys think. also thanks for all the favorites and story alerts. they make me smile!**

**Follow me on twitter and bug me till i get the next chapter up**

**twitter(dot)com/OMJItsSarahOSBH**

**thanks:)**

**XOXO**

**Sarah**


	11. hey guys

Hey guys. Sorry long time no post. I've been really busy.. so if you wanna hear the sob story stay and read, if not, send hate or whatever.

I've had issues with my body for as long as I can remember. I know I know. You all know I model and do pageants so you probably think she must have all the confidence in the world. Yeah… well no. I've been self harming since 5th grade and then when I transferred into public school in 7th grade, I became anorexic. Not that bad at first but it got worse after I was bullyed and harassed. At my lowest I was 98lbs. Then at the beginning of 8th grade (my grade now) I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder. Yeah I know. That's a lot for a girl with confidence. Truth is, I have absolutely none. I hate what I see in the mirror every day. But when I get into "pageant mode" I don't feel like myself. Fake tan, fake nails, fake hair, fake me. I get to feel like someone else and that someone else has all the confidence in the world.

Things are getting better for me now, slowly but surely. Not sure when I'll be posting again but whatever.

Well anyway that's my story in a nutshell. Feel free to send hate or whatever.

If anyone ever needs to talk my twitter is twitter . com/ScarredNtBroken and I always answer.

K, thanks for reading

Sarah


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